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How to avoid a contentious family holiday after the big election.
Caroline and James Koster have spent years finding ways to connect across the political aisle. For decades, the couple from Brooklyn, N.Y., would line up at their local polling station with their two sons in tow and cancel out one another’s vote — she tends to be more moderate, while he is more conservative.
Their extended family is politically mixed, too. Caroline, 58, gathers with many right-leaning relatives in Kentucky for a family reunion every year. And this month, the couple will celebrate Thanksgiving in Ohio with several of James’s brothers, who do not see eye to eye politically. “We run the gamut from super liberal to centrist to archconservative,” James, 59, said.
“You can imagine, for some people, those kinds of differences of opinion drive them apart,” he added. “But we don’t let that happen.”
With Thanksgiving a week away, families across a deeply divided nation are putting the finishing touches on their menus and are once again making plans to gather with loved ones who may be at odds over the results of the 2024 presidential election. As the country has grown increasingly polarized, how do families find their way back together for the holidays?
“There are longstanding grievances on both sides,” said Kenneth Barish, a clinical professor of psychology at Weill Cornell Medical College and author of the forthcoming book, “Bridging Our Political Divide: How Liberals and Conservatives Can Understand Each Other and Find Common Ground.”
“So then the question is: What can we do?” he continued. “How can we have a better conversation? A less angry conversation? A conversation that actually goes somewhere?”