“It’s Never Too Late” is a series that tells the stories of people who decide to pursue their dreams on their own terms.Joanna Patchett has always had a fear of death, and the dying.“I was terrified of being responsible for people’s lives, and was frightened of the space between life and death,” she said.And yet in July 2020, as coronavirus cases filled up hospitals, Ms. Patchett, who was fresh out of nursing school, found herself caring for extremely ill Covid patients in the intensive care unit at Binghamton General Hospital in upstate New York.“Seeing how sick everyone was — was heartbreaking. It was a life-changing and extremely difficult experience,” said Ms. Patchett, a 39-year-old Binghamton resident. “I didn’t expect to see so many people dying in quick succession, or to be on a floor full of ventilated patients, or intubating people so frequently, or being their primary person to have contact with them when the rest of the world could not.”As the pandemic worsened, Ms. Patchett said, there were many nights where she returned to her empty apartment and cried. Books pictured on her coffee table include “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande.Lauren Petracca for The New York TimesMs. Patchett had dreamed of becoming an actress, but didn’t have much luck at the profession. In 2019, when she was 35, she went back to school, having been accepted into a one-year accelerated nursing program. Most of her classmates came to nursing straight out of college, and many fondly called her Mom. As the pandemic worsened, she was deeply moved by “how people would open up and be so vulnerable with us.”“You could see the humanity, how worthy everyone is of life, and how hard the body fights to live,” she said.Ms. Patchett never imagined her life would turn out this way. After getting a bachelor’s degree in English and drama from Ithaca College, she spent a decade feeling “lost and depressed,” bouncing from one job to another — teaching English and yoga, working in a dental office. She felt behind in life because she didn’t know what she wanted to do. “I knew I had something to give, but didn’t know what that was,” she said.“I was jealous of people who challenged themselves,” Ms. Patchett said. “I never had. If I was going to grow and find myself, I needed to try something scary. I had to take a risk and challenge myself.”It was her mother who cajoled her into nursing, sensing she’d be good in the field, even though Ms. Patchett disagreed. “I didn’t think I was equipped for that experience, or that I could handle it spiritually and emotionally.”As the stress of caring for Covid patients took a mental toll, Ms. Patchett adopted a rescue cat, Tanky. “I wanted something to love,” she said. “Tanky really helped me through Covid.”Lauren Petracca for The New York TimesBut over the past several years, that’s exactly where she found herself, despite the 12-hour shifts, the daily emergencies and the often harrowing emotional work. For Ms. Patchett, who lives alone, it was especially difficult to return to an empty apartment. Though her family lived only five miles away, she couldn’t see her relatives often because of the high risk of contracting the coronavirus, and there was nothing alive and vibrant to come home to. Many nights she returned from work and cried. As the intense stress of being an I.C.U. nurse took a mental toll on her, she adopted a cat, Tanky. “I wanted something to love,” she said. “Tanky really helped me through Covid. He is 15 pounds of furball love and emotional healing.”“To lose patients I’d become close to and have them die in such a devastating way made me question everything,” she said. “But I began to see this work as my duty. It was a war. I wasn’t going to let them die alone.”The following interview has been edited and condensed.Since, on your first nursing job, you unexpectedly found yourself assigned to the I.C.U. floor and caring for Covid patients, did you ever regret your decision to become a nurse?No. I never regretted this work or being here, even though it was terrifying. If anything, I found my calling. I wasn’t afraid to be the person watching someone die, or being with them when they were. I was good at being present as they passed, and I could work under a tremendous amount of stress.How did you find the strength to face your fears?I didn’t have a choice. You can’t run away from this kind of work. I found my ability to be challenged and then I found the strength to stay. I didn’t have the luxury of leaving sick people, nor did I want to. Someone had to be there. I knew it had to be me.Once you were accepted into a nursing program, you realized you were one of the oldest people attending. What was that like?I felt out of place. Most everyone was 20, 25-year-olds, pursuing nursing shortly after getting their first degree. They were bubbly. I didn’t feel part of that excited buzz. But Gen Z is a welcoming group. They didn’t have the judgment that was inside of me. Once we broke into clinical groups, we became very tight and depended on each other. We shared a lot of intense moments that gave me strength because we supported one another.How did it feel to have the younger students call you Mom?It was endearing. I watched out for them and made sure everybody was OK. I would bring food in case somebody hadn’t eaten. I became the person they turned to if they were going through a hard moment. I had experience from being older, something no one else had. And they made me feel I mattered; that made me feel special. I learned from them, too.After fighting to save Covid patients, Ms. Patchett switched to palliative care. “I wanted to help people control their death, rather than watch people die flailing and gasping,” she said.Lauren Petracca for The New York TimesWhat has being a nurse taught you?I’ve never had a job that was so meaningful or made me feel I was serving a purpose. Facing death helped me realize you can’t give up. Through nursing, I’ve learned life is going to be incredibly hard, and it’s going to hurt, but you have to make the choice to keep fighting — that’s part of living. I learned I matter, and I matter to people who are dying and who want me by their side as they are doing it.After 18 months of fighting to save Covid patients, you decided to switch to palliative care. Why?I burned out. I realized I had to move to another part of nursing. On the I.C.U. floor, I’d received a tutelage in death. I wanted to help people control their death, rather than watch people die flailing and gasping. When we seemed out of the woods for Covid, I started helping the elderly and those with terminal illnesses decide how they wanted to die. I’m now a hospice nurse case manager at Lourdes Hospice, an outpatient home end-of-life care provider, in Vestal, N.Y., where I interact with 20 to 30 families a week. And I’m part of deeper discussions that deal with the dignity of dying.What have you learned about yourself as you’ve learned to care for others?I have a voice that carries wisdom. I have a special ability to listen and to see people while being present with them in those very hard moments.What’s the best piece of advice you can offer?When it comes to changing your life, you sometimes have to decide to change. Once you do, almost anything is possible. Everything you do contributes to who you are now. Ironically, my yoga, acting and teaching training gave me the ability to stay grounded, present and in the moment. Not one part of your journey, even if you’re not sure what you’re doing, or where it’s going to lead you, is ever wasted. You’re never late; you’ve simply not arrived yet.

“It’s Never Too Late” is a series that tells the stories of people who decide to pursue their dreams on their own terms.In 2015, nine months after her husband died, Phyllis Raphael, now 86, ran into Stan Leff, now 89, while exiting Citarella, a grocery store on Manhattan’s Upper West Side.“Stan remembered me from a party on Fire Island in 1974. He said I was on a deck serving hors d’oeuvres. But I didn’t remember him,” said Ms. Raphael, a Brooklyn-born writer. “We’d known each other peripherally and seen each other at parties but never spoke to each other until that day.”By then each had been married twice. Both were widowed. Mr. Leff’s second wife had died a decade earlier, Ms. Raphael’s second husband of 24 years had died of amyloidosis, a rare disease.“We started talking. A few nights later he called and asked me out,” she said. “He had gotten my number from a mutual friend of ours who thought our getting together was a good idea and encouraged him to call.”That call turned into a get-together. Then came a date. A second and third followed. So did a relationship. Then a love affair.Six years later the couple are still deeply committed to each other. Ms. Raphael said they spend some weeknights and weekends together; Mr. Leff sleeps over at her apartment in a stately prewar building on the Upper West Side. A retired bookseller, he lives four blocks away. At the moment, they have no plans to marry. (The following interview with Ms. Raphael has been edited and condensed.)What was life like after your husband passed away?I was going to a support group at New York Hospital that was filled with grief, which suited me at the time. I would go to dinner parties, there were always five single women and two men. I didn’t think I’d ever go on Match.com. I was going to throw myself on the mercy of my three kids and my friends. Stan changed everything.How did the relationship start?We saw Amy Schumer’s movie “Trainwreck” for our first get-together. I found him very attractive. I liked sitting next to him in the movie. We went to the Lime Leaf for dinner, which is no longer in business. I offered to pay my share; he offered to pay the bill. That established something. We started seeing each other shortly after that. We went to plays, movies, dinners, and took walks in Riverside Park. I couldn’t understand what we were doing. That November we were watching a movie at my home and I thought the time has come. I put my head on his shoulder. That opened the door. He said to me: ‘Winter is coming. It’s getting cold. I’m not going to want to go home at night.’ I understood what that meant. We became lovers that night.Did you ever think you’d be in another relationship?I never dreamed there would be someone else. I knew I would be lonely, but I wasn’t looking for a relationship. When I began seeing Stan, I didn’t think it would evolve to more than widowed neighborhood friends. Once it was happening, I was so surprised. I thought that part of my life was over, but it wasn’t. At my age you think, ‘OK, if this is what life is going to hand me I’m going to take it.’ So I started seeing him seriously.A few years ago I submitted a piece to Tiny Love Stories about our relationship. I originally wrote it as an exercise, which is what I do when I’m trying to write and can’t get started. I wanted to write something, and Stan was important in my life. He still is.”This relationship works for both of us” Ms. Raphael said. “I’m crazy about him.”Nate Palmer for The New York TimesHow is this relationship different than what you had with your second husband?This is a different kind of love. I loved my husband. We had a very good marriage. I grew to understand him better as time passed, but I don’t believe we were soul mates. Sometimes Stan comes closer. There’s sex, affection and longing for one another. We care deeply about each other. My kids love him and that means a lot. He’s devoted to his children. I couldn’t love someone who wasn’t. This relationship works for both of us. I’m crazy about him. Not the way I used to be with my husband, but differently. When he walks in the door I’m really happy to see him. It’s not euphoric. You can catch your breath, but we would suffer without each other.What makes this relationship work?We are two people who have a really good time together. We grew up in the same era. We laugh at the same jokes. We both love show tunes. We remember the same things. He’s my companion, but so much more. Stan’s at the top of my emergency list. I trust him. He makes me feel safe. He’s kind, reliable. We are good physically. I’ve not figured out what love actually is, but this comes pretty close.What are your future plans?Stan fits this time in my life. He calls me his girlfriend. I call him my boyfriend. We are more than friends; we are more than lovers. I don’t want to get married. I don’t want to mess with what we have. What we have is really good. “We are two people who have a really good time together. We grew up in the same era. We laugh at the same jokes. We both love show tunes. We remember the same things,” Ms. Raphael said.Nate Palmer for The New York TimesWhat suggestions can you offer people who feel stuck?Do something new that you normally wouldn’t do, or something you hadn’t planned on doing, or something you’re passionate about. Take an acting class or a cooking class, or go to a museum. These things let you connect to other people you might not have met ordinarily. It can make your life more lively. Pick up the phone. Send an email. Think of something you want to do and then ask someone if they want to do it with you. Don’t be afraid to let things happen.Any words of wisdom to share?Not to expect. I didn’t expect this to happen, or to be with someone for six years. I thought he must have other women in his life, but he didn’t. When I was married I had expectations. I have none of that here. You never know what’s around the corner. That thinking has made me happier. Life is a gift; it expires. When you get to my age you begin looking back on your life. I feel there are opportunities I’ve missed, but I’ve explored a lot. We all have an expiration date. It’s better to use the gift while you’ve got it.We’re looking for people who decide that it’s never too late to switch gears, change their life and pursue dreams. Should we talk to you or someone you know? Share your story here.

“It’s Never Too Late” is a new series that tells the stories of people who decide to pursue their dreams on their own terms.Rose Young has an uncanny ability to adapt to demanding jobs and intense situations. She’s been an FBI agent focusing on white-collar crimes; a lawyer practicing insurance litigation; and, after moving back to North Carolina from Lafayette, La. with her husband and daughter in 2003, a health care compliance officer.But the one pursuit she feared, though desperately ached to do, even as a child, was to go horseback riding. “I grew up in Hamlet, a small railroad town in North Carolina,” said Ms. Young, 65. “I was five when I saw my first horse and longed for a lesson. I got led around once or twice by a neighbor, who had a horse on their farm, but that was a rare treat. I never got on a horse again.”Several months before the pandemic Ms. Young, then 63, took her first English riding lesson. (She fortuitously met a woman at work who connected her with an instructor willing to take on an older student.) One class became two, which quickly turned monthly. Then it became a yearlong project. Then a life-changing experience. (The following interview has been edited and condensed.)Ms. Young at Wild Horse Ranch in Supply, N.C. “It’s a fleeting, effortless, flowing connection,” she said of riding. “You feel outside of yourself.”Leslie Ryann McKellar for The New York TimesWhy didn’t you take lessons as a child?I grew up in a modest home. My parents were blue collar and worked really hard. There was nothing for extras. So I convinced myself riding wasn’t for me, which is sad. When I got older, I could have made time to do a lesson a month but I was intimidated and felt uncomfortable. And there was fear.What were you frightened of?Falling off or injuring myself. But in 2003 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy. That changed things. That’s motivation. You have to follow your dreams when you have a chance because you don’t know how long you’re going to have the chance.How did you find the courage to take the first step?I didn’t let breast cancer scare me, and I didn’t let it take the joy out of my life. That would have been a disaster. I decided I was going to have another life. Learning to ride was about finding a new joy. It was also a reward for surviving something very dark and coming out that other side.How did you get started?Even though I live in an area where a lot of people own horses, I had to find someone willing to make themselves and their horse available to an older student. Plenty of places train kids. To find someone to take a chance with an older student, who runs the risk of injury, or might not be open to learning, is harder. It took a month for me to find my first instructor. I also read books and watched countless videos.What have been some of your biggest challenges?Finding the right instructor, and then finding the right horse. Right now I’m on my fifth instructor and sixth horse. I finally think I’ve found the right one. Also getting over the fear of falling off or injuring myself. I’ve fallen four times and gotten one concussion. I had second thoughts about continuing. I thought maybe I was crazy to do this. I took a few weeks off. Then I tried another horse and another, until I found one I wasn’t afraid of.After falling and getting a concussion, “I thought maybe I was crazy to do this,” Ms. Young said. “Then I tried another horse and another, until I found one I wasn’t afraid of.”Leslie Ryann McKellar for The New York Times”There’s nothing better than being up there and feeling real synchrony and connection with another being.”Leslie Ryann McKellar for The New York TimesWhen was your light bulb moment?I had a few friends who got into riding later on in life; that was inspiring. Then an older friend who had a knee replacement and who thought she would never go back to this, decided to start competing again. That was inspiring, too. I thought, ‘if she can do it, so can I.’What has it felt like to finally be on a horse?In the beginning it was more fear-inspiring than awe-inspiring. I forced myself to breathe and disperse the anxiety. Horses are beautiful, intelligent and sensitive. Their eyes are soulful. There’s nothing better than being up there and feeling real synchrony and connection with another being. We are both moving with the same purpose. It’s a fleeting, effortless, flowing connection. You feel outside of yourself. And there’s something very alluring and empowering about being able to control and influence the behavior of something that is larger than you.What have you learned about yourself during this time?That I’m not afraid to fail. That in the interest of learning something new that’s valuable to me I’m willing to look foolish. That you can’t rush this process. That took me a while to understand. I wanted to learn it all in a month. That didn’t happen. I’m still learning. I still have a long ways to go. I suppressed my desire to ride for so long because it was inconvenient or expensive or took too much time or was out of reach. Those were excuses to justify my inaction. I realized that was stupid. I wanted to do this as a kid, I learned I needed to give this to myself now.“I’ve learned to slow down and enjoy each moment that I’m with the horse.”Leslie Ryann McKellar for The New York TimesHow has your life changed since you’ve been riding?It has been enriched by this process. Small victories add up to a bigger goal. I’ve learned to slow down and enjoy each moment that I’m with the horse. I’m trying to take pleasure in the feeling of accomplishment.What are your future plans?My next big step is to lease a horse in October which would mean getting to ride outside of a lesson. I’d be on the horse alone. You have to get to a certain level of competence before you can do that.What has riding given you that you didn’t expect?It has intensified all aspects of my life. It’s made everything more interesting, brighter, more alive. It has rejuvenated my curiosity and interest level in everything around me.What would you tell people who feel stuck and are looking to make a change?Think back to what made you happy when you were young and see if that’s something you can reach back to for inspiration or joy. Then find the time and the ability to do it.What lessons can people learn from your experience?Don’t be afraid of embarrassment or opening yourself up to criticism. You have to be OK with not having mastery over something. And don’t let fear stand in your way. It will get less scary every time you try.We’re looking for people who decide that it’s never too late to switch gears, change their life and pursue dreams. Should we talk to you or someone you know? Share your story here.